Thursday, January 28, 2010

a glimpse into a teacher's diary...

A glimpse of a teacher’s diary... Struggling with finding peace in knowing my small efforts will one day make sense… laboring the mind seems so much more draining than manually having the body walk the actions. Caring hurts. Frustration does not exist without emotional concern.

Concepts, theories, pedagogy, training, lifestyle, changes, solutions, questions, discussions… all this and yet we circle ourselves to the same point of existence. Depending on each other for support, for encouragement, for information, for confirmation.

Yet I fail to see who advocates for those who seem weak??? When three stand out of 100, is the 3 who are great, or the 97 whom have failed us are to blame, or are weak for having accepted the malfunctions and complacency on all levels of life. Where do you point the finger... do you even point... or just do. robotic.

And when does doing become taking on a 5 headed monster that will never die, because he seems to have eternal incarnations… with difference faces, different titles, different opinions.
When does the scale actually work for its purpose of not just weighing bi polar systematic approaches and perspectives… but actually stop titling, stop leaning, and find balance between reason, and reality. Between goals and expectations. Between truth and robotic like symptoms that seemed to have programmed us that enough is okay now. Rather than reaching for more.

I don’t understand… she told me balance lies in those that keep you standing.. yet if we examine the structure of the finest buildings.. they lean and depend on what seems to be the most ironic of pillars, steal, metal plates… but what is it that holds them in place..

There are missing links.. and one day I just hope we can see the image we aim, not accept the one we have created. The beauty behind passion fruit and pineapple is they are guarded by hard, prickly, bumpy outsides… yet tender and sweet to the core. The illusion is created to mask their beauty… without the desire one would never have experience the joy of such flavor. When will our desire to have something that works… meet our action of actually trying… when will we actually taste the flavor and sweetness of personal knowledge that a system aims to assist in developing… yet that is actually only cutting our children blindfolded…

and if your lost in the imagery of my words.. I applaud you... Yet this educational system is not gem.. We must not be afraid to be the 3 out of 100... At any moment…


  1. Chica,

    Although I am not in a 'traditional' classroom, I have those feelings. You have some idea of my level of compassion for Education, especially the education of the little Brown & Black kids. You will have many more days where you will question whether you 'made a difference.' As I shared on someone else's blog, sometimes kids don't have the words to tell you they appreciate you-even when they act a fool! But believe me, they will remember you. Everyday that you show-up, you make a difference.

    Don't get caught-up in the hype and keep on keepin on...everyday is another opportunity to do more than you did the day before!