4days3nights

i lived like i never lived before, i loved like i never loved before, i consumed every breathe as if it were my last eternally. I connected with the most night on a level I cant even begin to explain. My appreciation for human existence now surpasses my ability to understand. And with that I am caught, held hostage by the purity of greatness. Silent without question of why, when or how, but simply uttering thank you.


Each second spent felt like priceless hours. Confirming that words should not mean, but should be, the existence of such energy put life to each letter I managed to stutter. The stars were aligned, forming the smiles I sometimes fail to show. Not once did I frown in your presence. Not once was my soul not gleaming from the inside out -in your presence. Not once did I stop rejoicing- in your presence, even silently. Not one second did I want to leave your presence. The world could have offered me surrealism, and that wouldn't have been enough to glamorize the reality of our connection.

The future flashed before my eyes. I was silently daydreaming of being held within tomorrows embrace as if it were built on today. It all seems so foreign yet feels so familiar. Tickling my heart with emotion, I sort of like it, yet it feels so weird and different. My body is trembling from the idea of this lasting forever. Orgasmic pleasure meeting compassion and truth. And yet its only been a day of reflection. Imagine a lifetime of soaking in heaven. I wonder how my skin will glisten. Until then … I manage to stutter..thank you

Touched...

She knows me so well.. Thankful for her presence in my life! Thanks sis:

@brittneygreene aka @blackposimage to me aka @joskidiesel:

Tonight, be true to yourself, give into your desires, but go deeper than the surface level. Explore the possibilities without exhausting all the options, enjoy being free. Relinquish your guard and JUST BE!!! I love you!!!

Joski Diesel

Unapproachable Series: #5- Loyalty to the Truth

#5: Loyalty To The Truth:

I was having a conversation with a man the other week and I told him about this series ( same man mentioned in #4). Of course, he insisted I blog about our meeting, as if to imply that he is something spectacular (Kanye Shrug). Anyways, the main thing that stuck out in the conversation was when he asked me:

"What is the ultimate question to ask someone the first time you meet them?"

And I replied,

“What are your truths?"

As he hesitated, with a surprised look on his face . . .

It seemed like he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, instead of what actually are his truths.

Then he asked why not ask someone

"What are your falsehoods?"

Wrong move.

The worst move!  

Essentially, the word "False" implies negative things. When you're meeting someone for the first time, you shouldn't start a conversation off with a laundry list of negative things about yourself. How many people are actually willing to divulge this information? And what judgments or assumptions would you make about them after they're done?

The question, "What are your truths" is simply wondering what do "YOU" hold true to yourself. This can be a confirmation of your positive or negative acts, emotions, ideals, theories, etc. The fact that one is willing and able to admit their "Negative" truths, shows that they're in tune with themselves, comfortable enough to admit them, and they understand the value of truth, honesty, and disclosure.
This question is no different from asking,

"Who are you?"

But it is rested on the basis of honesty, which isn't/should everything?

My Truths:

Opinionated
Conversationalist
Controlling sometimes ( I like order and organization so this can be tuned into taking control.)
I like order and precision
Aquarius, in every sense
Learning how to say NO
Educated
Humble
Impatient
Horrible with grammar (Thankful for my Editor!)
Believe I can save one and many
Road rage
Textaholic (I need help!)
Workaholic
Planner
Teacher
Cut people off mid sentence without realizing it at times (sorry!)
Experimental
Blunt
Great cook
Learning: What's best for me is not best for you
People are for a purpose
Everything is disposable.

Now . . . was that difficult.

It seems like we hide ourselves behind the concept of truth so much that we lose site of its worth. Why run from what you already are? Are you not human enough to look into the mirror, face what you see, and accept what you can change?

There is nothing wrong with being you, even if that “You” is not who you desire to be. Its much easier to allow nature to take course first, then to make any changes you may want to improve, alter, or change the person you “Are”.

The concept of getting to know someone is unconsciously rested on the idea that both parties are speaking about their experiences, lifestyle, goals, and wants from a place of honesty. But this is not a realistic statement these days, and it seems more like a idealistic connection. It's sad that individuals are not accepting of themselves and they fear that others will not be as well. This is what lying to yourself implies in these instances. We are all works in progress, essentially only if we are working on ourselves, otherwise we have become content with our position which should render no problem in being upfront with others you may meet.

Now of course not all information about yourself should be disclosed immediately, depending on the person and the connection you want to establish. But those truths do not take away from you. And are still these truths.

An example of this:

You meet a nice gentleman. You exchange information with him, hang out a few times, enjoy each other's company. You have friendly conversations about work, likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. But when do you find out their living situation, their REAL work situation, their transportation situation, you idea of the truth is transformed. Since everything that appeared during those interactions seemed “Truthful” but you didn’t have all the facts. And so now those truths become lies.

I try my best not to expect much out of others simply because it causes room for being let down, but also it decreases space for assumptions and error. While other people may believe if you do not expect things to get done, then they wont, I would rather do it myself. Just in the same sense, I don’t like to leave room for a guessing game, assumptions, or a wandering mind. I have no problem answering questions upfront and honestly, a person just needs to take the time to ask them.

I am an open book that is closed.

First I must be spotted on the book shelf.

Admired from a far either from my title, description, or context.

Then I need to be opened, my pages need to be flipped, skimmed, read, and explored.

My chapters will soon come alive, and the sequel will slowly begin to write itself in your existence.

This is my metaphor for disclosure.

We are all books.

Not all of us are open for sharing simply because we fail to see the power in truth and how valuable it is to begin everything and end everything within its realms.

Embrace the truth, your truths, and reality for what it is.



* Thanks for reading this series. *

missing it

Missing it: the point where infinity meets and overlaps. When understanding is an understatement. Finishing sentences becomes natural. And mind reading is not foreign. Emotions lived from a distance but at them same time. Words spoken within each breathe. A connection unsung.